ABC

Has anyone else noticed that ABC is the worst major television network out there? Everyone always gives NBC crap for getting bad ratings. Why does no one ever taunt ABC for having a lineup of terrible, terrible television shows?

Just so you can see with your own eyes how catastrophic it is, here is ABC's current lineup, in its entirety:

Shows I might enjoy watching:

• Jimmy Kimmel Live!
  
• Lost
  
• Scrubs

Shows I will actively avoid watching:

• The View
  
• All My Children
  
• General Hospital
  
• Crash Course
  
• Dating in the Dark
  
• Desperate Housewives
  
• Grey's Anatomy
  
• I Survived a Japanese Game Show
  
• Wipeout
  
• Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
  
• Wife Swap
  
• The Bachelor
  
• Dancing With The Stars

Shows I've never heard of:

• One Life to Live
  
• Better Off Ted
  
• Brothers & Sisters
  
• Cougar Town (it is the ladies, not the animals. I had to check.)
  
• Defying Gravity
  
• Eastwick
  
• FlashForward
  
• The Forgotten
  
• Hank
  
• Happy Town
  
• The Middle
  
• Modern Family
  
• Shaq vs
  
• Shark Tank
  
• SuperNanny
  
• The Superstars
  
• V

Shows I've heard of, but couldn't care less about:

• Good Morning America
  
• 20/20
  
• America's Funniest Home Videos
  
• Castle
  
• Nightline
  
• Primetime
  
• Private Practice
  
• Ugly Betty
  
• Who Wants to Be a Millionaire
  
• World News

I believe that's just the shows that are still on the air. Let's not forget the smash-hit 2007 sitcoms "Cavemen" and "Carpoolers."

I know what I'll do. I'll try out a new metric for ranking TV networks:

Watchability ratio =

# of shows I might enjoy watching
------------------------------------------
# of shows I will actively avoid watching
(excluding soaps)

NBC: 2.25 (9/4)
FOX: 1.00 (7/7)
CBS: 0.50 (2/4)
ABC: 0.27 (3/11) (probably much lower if I knew what all the shows were)